Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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