Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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