she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
