We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
