At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
