Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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