I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Buhtt sex?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize