i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
