If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
