is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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