see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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