Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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