I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
