White coat. Heels.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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