elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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