i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
