Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
