There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
