Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
