You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
