Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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