winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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