She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
