Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My cat gives me a boner
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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