i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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