I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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