wrigley field is MILF paradise
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
