Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
