she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
