so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So much rum. So many feels.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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