Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
