If that was your dad, he is hot
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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