therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
