She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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