Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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