okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
