4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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