There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
