And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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