New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
