Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
