I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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