you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
