Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
