she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize