your thong is hanging out like whoa
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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