were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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