But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize