just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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