I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
