I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize