Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
