Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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