So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
