**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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