This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
