where am i from again
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
