Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
