Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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