I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
