no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
being pregnant is like rehab
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
