So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
