I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
