Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
