Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
