I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
