Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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