Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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